farters have to be the big spoon...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
