Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
