are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
