Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
