i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
