Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I will pee on everything he values.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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