I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I want her autograph on my taint
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
