We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
