if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
