is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she told me i tasted like america
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize