saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
