yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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