Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
