He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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