as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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