Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
