i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
