By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
