ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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