There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
