youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
