i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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