you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
