Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
