K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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