I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
