Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
