i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
