Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
