We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
