he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
