This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My ATM looks so different sober.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
