it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
