I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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