The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
