if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
