id be glad to
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
