none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
