I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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