so that wasnt chicken after all
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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