On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
