that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
