their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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