What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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