i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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