It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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