this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
