We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
