Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize