Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
