Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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