I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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