HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
