I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You pole danced in your parka.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
