Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize