Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
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