your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
