I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
