then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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