Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
