you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
