Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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