seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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