dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
