Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
