Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
