well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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