I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
People in love make me want to vomit
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
