just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
