every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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