Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
