i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
