Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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