I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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