I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize