WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
