Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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