I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
